Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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