I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
