Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
