I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
