I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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