You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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