The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
