so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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