i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
