It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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