i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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