Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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