the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
