She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
too bad you live with your parents still
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
