We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
