batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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