she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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