I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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