I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
