I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
