I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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