her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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