I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i believe in u and ur pee
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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