And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
