Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
