This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
