it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
