i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just found puke in my bra..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
