You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
