my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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