Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize