so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
