she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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