so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
