i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You can't special order awesome
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
