Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
