i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
