He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
