I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
