today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
