sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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