Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
