Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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