I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
