with your own penis?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
