I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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