Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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