Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize