awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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