apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
