I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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