it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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