I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
