I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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