Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
