Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
do nipples grow back?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
