I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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