Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
