After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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