can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
