I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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