we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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