well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
