You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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