let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize