i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
