10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
